Things I Want to Ask God NOW

Recent chain of events had led me to a series of why"s. Thing is, the phrase "only God knows why" applies to most if not all my recent circumstances, particularly those involving my heart.

If I can only go see God right now I'll ask Him to answer and explain the following:

1. How do I move on, if I am still a prisoner of my own heart?
2. Why did you let me love, only to make me let go in the end?
3. What was my purpose in his life? Why did you put me there?
4. Did I fulfill that purpose?
5. Did I make a dent in his life, if at all?
6. What mark did I leave in his heart, his soul?
7. Will he ever get well, again? If so, how long will it take?
8. Why do the men I love always end up leaving me?
9. What was his purpose in my life?
10. When will I stop loving him? Is there a quick way to forget him?
11. His return: For love or for friendship?
12. My pending reply: For friendship or goodbye?
13. When will you rescue me from this emotional limbo?
14. What is it YOU want to happen now between the two of us?
15. Will You please speak loud and clear about it?

Singular Mess

I know. It's another perfectly good Friday night, gone down the drain, spent staring into--not some sweet human pair of eyes--but into a vast screen of nothing and something called the Internet.

I have just spent the last four hours or so bantering with Ligaya over YM, now discussing topics ranging from boys to men (hehe) and arguing for the umpteenth time about this frustrating creature called Mr. Frog.

The single life was the last topic we were discussing before I made a quick dash for Blogger.

Boy. Why do I get the feeling that the single life is getting more frustrating, as the days go by.

I couldn't even get a decent date, for crying out loud!

Boys who leave notes for me at Friendster don't make for appealing menus, either.

They're either cute but brainless or un-cute and brainless.

Some can't even exhibit the slightest bit of finnesse as they let their sexual appetite show through their words.

YUCK.

I'd rather DIE a virgin than go out with these kinds of ... men!

Is it really this frustrating to remain a single now?

The hopeless romantic in me continues to believe it is not.

How I hope so!

A Joy in my Life

Dear Best friend Joy,

You said you want to be like me. But, in fact, I want to be like you -- bitchy, mean, sarcastic, when the situation calls for it.

I wish I can rapid-fire off-the-cuff retorts the way you can, specially when some stupid guy breaks my heart and leaves me crying in a corner.

I wish, for once, I can budge from that lonely corner and give whoever a taste of some razor-sharp words that will leave him stinging even 10 years from now, not only because he deserves it, but more so because it can set him off the right path if he carefully considers your rebuke.

Then, again, this is me. Nice.

I guess this is why God, in all His perfect wisdom, brought us together to be friends.

I know that despite my niceness, I'm not always the easiest person to live with. Because of this, it still amazes me how our friendship--however insane it may be--has withstood the test of time, despite walk-out episodes, our sometimes contrasting spiritual beliefs and what else?

Yet I have not known anyone as stubborn and as faithful as you--you have dealt with me with much patience and love.

You're the only person I know who would serve me with truth, no matter how bitter, knowing it is what I need to be well, to improve, to rise above, be a better me

Neither you nor I are perfect to each other. There are also times I want to strangle you, specially about matters of the heart, both yours and mine. You know you are treading a serious war path whenever the subject of Mr. Frog is discussed... but like a true, loyal soldier, you march on... if only to save a stupid friend like me.

You are my epitome of Proverbs 17:17. Though I may drive you away, I know you will keep coming back because you love and will return to pick up the shattered parts of me, no matter what.

How can words be enough to express how blessed I am to have you.

No words.

Hair Reborn

Last Saturday night, my best friend Ligaya and I lost it and attacked the wigs section of a retail warehouse in Cubao. Armed with her Panasonic cam phone, we fitted a variety of wigs, and relentlessly took turns taking pics of our new look.

The priciest wig costs only PhP595.00, including bald patches in the back. Oh well...

...Ligaya wore a look that's cute on her and made her look like a sun-burnt Japanese doll.

To all wig makers around the world, hats off to you! Thanks for making my Saturday night and for giving me a much cheaper alternative to Regroe!