At long, LONG last!

...I've finally sent that email intended a long time ago for Mr. Frog. You know, the one informing him how he has hurt me in the past? The one no longer asking for answers, but that my grievances be heard? The one that even sought to set the record straight as regards his mean & unfair judgment of Ligaya's character?

Yes. THAT email.

I sent it last Wednesday night. Still no reply. In fact, I don't expect him to until after 1,000,000,000 years! Hehe. Oh. I also did inform him about my enrollment at ATS as an official student, to prevent a heart attack on his part, the next time we bump into each other at school.

I felt light day after I emailed him. Still, it doesn't mean I'm proud of what I did. I mean

A friend was so proud of me when she learned about it. She's one of those who's still hoping for a restorating of our relationship, if you consider it that.

Back to the Future

Not much has been rocking my world, lately. Could be the lull after the tumultuous love affair that just ended between me and my business. Hehe.

I'm glad I was not yet that emotionally attached to it; otherwise...

* * * * *

In other news.. parang reporter.. some well-meaning friends are sharing my happiness over my decision to set a date with Mr. Frog and settle things with him.

Some are that happy to the extent that they have started painting rosy pictures of me, Mr. Frog and our brand-new friendship in the future.

But if you ask me, I'm not quite there yet--the rosy part of the future. First thing's first. When he returns, I'll (gulp!) call him up; set a date with him; and sink or swim. Dapat swim 'di ba! Hehe.

Should things get settled between us, then that in itself would be an ultimate happiness for me. :o)

Haay... sana nga...

I can even joke about his new date now; how we can all get together (me, Mr. Frog, our common friends & his new date).. and make her kilatis. Hehehe. As if.

Sabi nga ni Lou, libre lang mangarap, so mangarap tayo to the max! :o)

Lou also expressed certainty that God will grant my desire to reconcile with Mr. Frog, because reconciliation is God's will, after all!

Besides, He wants me to have peace. And most certainly, being the God of Peace, He'd also want me to be friends with Mr. Frog, again.

* * * * *

If all things fall into place, it's going to be another merry Christmas for me & Mr. Frog, after all. Sana nga... :o)

I Shall Return!

Walang kokontra! I am going to talk to Mr. Frog and get it over with, for the last and final time. Lou will take care of the invite spiel and I the conversation "script" (on my counselor's instructions).

I shall be ruthless to my feelings and stay true to the script. After all, THIS HAS GOT TO END!!!!

I'm tired; I want to be happy; I want to move on and have new relationships. MALE relationships! ...preferrably with a real man who has the backbone to drive the relationship forward... and will not leave me hanging, nor my heart bleeding.

We have 2-3 more weeks to prepare for D-Day, until he comes home from a training abroad sometime in November.

* * *

To all my friends:

I know you love me. I do thank you for that. I appreciate how you have stood behind me until I was past the emotional pain care of Mr. Frog. I also know that if you had your way, you will probably put him behind bars, if only to make him pay for how he murdered my heart without mercy.

But no matter what you say or what you think of him, now, I have made up my mind. I AM GOING TO TALK TO HIM. And that is that. If you really want to help, just please pray for both of us.

* * *

English Checkpoint

WRONG: the both of ___
CORRECT: both of ___
SAYS WHO: my elementary english teacher

WRONG: advices
CORRECT: pieces of advice
SAYS WHO: my journalism prof (a professional news editor)

WRONG: equipments
CORRECT: pieces of equipment
SAYS WHO: Strunks & White

WRONG: irregardless
CORRECT: regardless
SAYS WHO: another journalism prof (a professional news columnist/associate editor)

Bombshell

Wish it were me. But it's my business I'm talking about here. A.k.a. "The Bomb!"

Yes, fellow earthlings, the business i was madly in love with only a few weeks ago bombed out on me on its debut.

Gawd. How can I compare how LITTLE I earned, compared to the humongous effort that went into the actual preparation. It's like comparing a teeny-weeny ant to a mango tree that it's sickeningly funny. Waaah!!!

Having hit this hard reality, I resolved to cease operations, from henceforth. And I did.

I didn't regret having done so; I still don't.

Lessons were learned along the way; and that's what matters most.

Despite the financial loss that accompanied the disappointment, I vowed to make a comeback. And I will. A wiser, better equipped entrepreneur.

Slice of Life

I've just been served a rather painful slice of life today.

My ex-future pizza supplier shared last night that some other tenant at the bazaar I will be joining has just started selling pizzas. Mr. Supplier's pizzas!

Dang. Talk about a painful twist of fate.

No other recourse now but to graciously step back and admit... boohoo!... defeat.

I'm hurrying to find a product to replace the pizza. So far, so good, but it requires more draining of financial resources.

Need to find more economical everything! ...from supplies, equipment to transportation... everything!

By the way, I'm still awaiting my BIG car with the CUTE driver. Any volunteer? Hehehe..

Rock Bottom

Talk to a man about the weather, politics, the stockmarket and you have an animated conversation waiting to happen. But ask a man to talk about his feelings; and you have an animated conversation waiting to combust!

What is it about feelings that men find it so hard to divulge them? They will take out the garbage for you; carry your groceries for you; change poo-laden diapers, no matter how yuck; but they will not--no, NEVER--divulge what lies at the bottom of their hearts.

Here are a few, nakakaiyak examples:

Lady: Why do we need to see each other?
Current Date: Do you ask that of your other friends!
Lady: (Friend?!?) Uh.. sometimes I do, if only to find out what their plans are.

Note: Mr. Friendly Friend has showered her with stuffed toys, flowers, other gifts outside her birthday, Christmas Day and other special occasions.

* * *

Lady: Hey. What happened to you? You suddenly vanished.
Erstwhile Date: I lost your number. Here's my new number. What's yours?

Note: Erstwhile Date has her email address.

* * *

Lady to a 50-something man: Will you take it against me if I go against your suggestion? I mean, will you get angry?

After 48 years:

Man: ----

* * *

And I thought I wanted to get married?!? ... WA HA HA!!

Catch-up Tidbits

TIDBIT No. 1: I'd like to congratulate my dear kikay friend Ligaya, whose blog, is on its way to fame, based on the number of hits and visitors it continues to receive. One male fan, she told me recently, even went as far as calling her up at home to tell her that for such a long time now, he's been looking for someone "sane" to talk to. And he found her! Woohoo...! Well.. hate to burst your bubble, dearie. But you actually got the WRONG number, dude. "Sane" is the last adjective that will ever fit Ligaya well. Ask her. Haha!

TIDBIT No. 2: Business planning is unexpectedly going well. Only thing lacking now is a BIG car to transport all my bazaar supplies and equipment from home to venue. A CUTE driver to go with the BIG car won't be such a bad addition. Haha! But of course, I will gladly settle for my brother-in-law to drive me, anytime. Thanks, kuya! On hindsight, this is one of those times I WISH I had learned how to drive, already. Dang, dang, dang!

TIDBIT No. 3: Saw Mr. Frog last week on cable TV. His second screen appearance. First he was an expert on dreams. This time he was a helper of depressed and suicidal souls. Hello, identity check. WHAT KIND OF AN EXPERT ARE YOU, REALLY?

Wish I can say he's handsome on screen. He could've been... had he not lost so much weight to the point that he looks tired and old. Worse yet, he had a growing moustache. A moustache! Fer crying out loud! A friend said he looks dirty with it. Wanted to shave off the ugly thing, right then and there. Of course, now being out of his life, I can't. (Paging Current Date of Mr. Frog: Alagaan mo naman siya, iha!)

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotful Mind

One day last week, it dawned on me that I'm turning 30 this year and can very likely lose my job next year. (The project I'm working in will expire in 2006). At this point, I have no idea until when my services as a communication officer will be needed by my boss.

At these thoughts, my grey matter couldn't help but hemorrhage a bit. A few hours later grand illusions about my so-called "bright future" (whatever that is) started to occur.

According to my hemorrhaging brain, my bright future will come in three forms: a master's degree in counseling; my own business; and a progressive career as a professional classical guitarist (hee hee)--granting I get to graduate from my guitar lessons with flying colors!

Having my own business will help ensure a steady flow of income, while I let my brain agonize some more within the confines of ATS or ABS where I plan to enroll this second sem--that is, once I finally decide which school it will be. Heaven help me!

The business I intend to start this October sana will require a capital of around PhP100,000--which I now have in my hands, but in my dreams. Hehe...

On hyper-overdrive, words like "borrowing," "loan," and "loan application" have had some serious moments inside my head. And they still do. So forgive me if my blog goes on hibernation mode again. That's how my reality bites.

Thanks for helping me process my thoughts through here. Let's hope my hibernation will not take too long.

Lastly, if you believe in the wonders and powers of prayer, please do pray for me. I'm about to hit another fork in the road, and what a crucial fork it will be. :o)